By Mike Robbins

It's 2 a.m. and you need a break from that paper you're working on. Maybe you go to the Flame or Morning Star, or even order a pizza from Domino's. Well, if you read on, you might be changing your mind about eating at those joints for a late night snack.

The state of New York has a Web site that lists almost all of the restaurants in the city and their health violations, if they have any. You can look up the results at: http://www.nyclink.org/html/doh/html/rii/index.html.

If you're too lazy for that, you can see a few of the popular places for Fordhamites listed below.

I'm not trying to discourage anyone from going to these places. As far as I'm concerned, this is New York, and there are certain things you just can't avoid, such as vermin. As for the other violations, which range from workers not properly washing themselves after using the restroom, to keeping foods kept at improper temperatures, they happen at all food establishments. Some places just have their bad days. Unfortunately, some of them have their bad days when the food inspector comes.

We'll start with the diners.

The Olympic Flame (809 8th Avenue):

1) Hot food not held at or above 140°F.

2) Cold food held above 45°F (smoked fish above 38°F) except during necessary preparation.

3) Food, food preparation area, food storage area, area used by employees or patrons, contaminated by sewage or liquid waste. Well, I guess sewage is better than rats.

Morning Star (401 West 57 Street):

1) Food protection certificate not held by supervisor of food operations.

2) Food worker does not use a proper utensil to eliminate bare hand contact with food that will not receive adequate, additional heat treatment.

3) Vermin or other live animal present in food storage, preparation, or service area.

Next time I go, I'll have to order a rat sandwich; I hear they taste just like potato pancakes.

Four Star (889 9 Avenue):

1) Food worker does not use a proper utensil to eliminate bare hand contact with food that will not receive adequate, additional heat treatment.

2) Cooked or prepared food is cross-contaminated. So, you think that the cross-contamination cancels each other out?

Renaissance Diner (776 9 Avenue):

At the time of inspection, no violations were found that presented a threat to public health, or were related directly to factors leading to food-borne illness. Woo-hoo! It's a shame I rarely eat there.

Route 66 (858 9 Avenue):

1) Hot food not held at or above 140°F.

2) Food worker does not use a proper utensil to eliminate bare hand contact with food that will not receive adequate, additional heat treatment.

3) Vermin or other live animal present in food storage, preparation, or service area.

You think they fail to keep the rats at or above 140°F too?

Well, that's not so bad. Next, we'll move on to some restaurants and pizzerias in the neighborhood.

McDonald's (47 West 57 street):

At the time of inspection, no violations were found that presented a threat to public health, or were related directly to factors leading to food-borne illness. Why does this surprise me?

Mariella's Pizza (960 8 Avenue):

1) Food protection certificate not held by supervisor of food operations. That's it? Now you know why John Travolta eats there.

John's Pizzeria (48 West 65 Street):

1) Food protection certificate not held by supervisor of food operations.

2) Vermin or other live animal present in food storage, preparation, or service area.

I don't remember seeing them on the menu.

Ray's Pizza (158 West 58 Street):

1) Cold food held above 45°F (smoked fish above 38°F) except during necessary preparation.

2) Canned food product observed swollen, leaking, rusted, or severely dented. There's so many of them, does it matter?

Mama's Fresh Tortilla's (857 9 Avenue):

1) Vermin or other live animal present in food storage, preparation, or service area. Yum.

Hunan Inn (857 9 Avenue):

1) Hot food not held at or above 140°F.

2) Vermin or other live animal present in food storage, preparation, or service area.

So many comments, so little time.

Ollie's (1991 Broadway):

At the time of inspection, no violations were found that presented a threat to public health, or were related directly to factors leading to food-borne illness.

Ralph's (862 9 Avenue):

1) Hot food not held at or above 140°F.

Not too shabby, at least your mouth won't get burnt.

Carmine's (2450 Broadway):

1) Canned food product observed swollen, leaking, rusted, or severely dented.

2) Vermin or other live animal present in food storage, preparation, or service area.

Isn't this supposed to be a fancy schmancy place?

Just for fun, I've listed some of the local drinking establishments that were listed.

Lincoln Park Grill (867 9 Avenue):

1) Food protection certificate not held by supervisor of food operations. Who cares?

Blarney's (795 8 Avenue):

At the time of inspection, no violations were found that presented a threat to public health, or were related directly to factors leading to food-borne illness. Really? You could have fooled me.

McCoy's (768 9 Avenue):

1) Food protection certificate not held by supervisor of food operations.

2) Food from unapproved or unknown source, spoiled, adulterated, or home canned. Home canned? That's a bit suspicious, eh?

Starbucks (152 Columbus Avenue):

1) Food protection certificate not held by supervisor of food operations.

2) Cold food held above 45°F (smoked fish above 38°F) except during necessary preparation.

3) Food from unapproved or unknown source, spoiled, adulterated, or home canned.

4) Vermin or other live animal present in food storage, preparation, or service area. Uh oh, better start selling your Starbucks stock.

Now, for the commuter's hot spots.

Bridgeview Diner (9011 3 Avenue - Brooklyn):

1) Cold food held above 45°F (smoked fish above 38°F) except during necessary preparation.

2) Vermin or other live animal present in food storage, preparation, or service area.

They even have vermin in Brooklyn.

Trio Pizza (1907 Avenue U - Brooklyn):

1) Vermin or other live animal present in food storage, preparation, or service area. Two for two. Now why did Brooklyn get rid of their baseball team again?

Pugsley's (590 East 191 Street - Bronx):

1) Vermin or other live animal present in food storage, preparation, or service area. You think that includes those black squirrels?

Well, I hope I didn't gross you out too much. One factor that remains constant, despite all of these violations, is the quality and price of the food is probably a heck of a lot better than our cafeteria.